Passion of the Christ
by Delaen on Mar-5-2004
“The Jews in this movie are made to look worse than satan.”

I’ve hated more than my fair share of movies in my life, but Passion of the Christ is the first movie I can honestly say I wish I hadn’t watched. There’s no hint of a story, no real acting to speak of, and most of all no “passion”, unless the definition of passion has been suddenly changed to mean “high tolerance for pain”.

We’re not shown any of the good things Jesus did during his life. No miracles, no walking on water, and only about 30 seconds of preachy dialog – if you want to count that as a good thing. All we witness is Jesus being brutally beaten by the mean, overbearing, heartless Jews. To someone who hasn’t quite made up their mind about Jesus (e.g. me), it seemed more like the Jews had just picked up some poor lunatic and started torturing him, rather than the son of God.

Most of the time when these dumb groups start spouting off that such and such is racist, bigoted, or what have you, I kind of shrug it off and think to myself that they’re almost certainly overreacting. The Jews aren’t overreacting. The Jews in this movie are made to look worse than satan. I looked at the things the Jews were doing to Jesus, and what Satan was doing to Judas and thought “Eh, that’s not that bad, at least he doesn’t have to deal with the Jews”. Out of a large crowd of Jews, including quite a few women, not a single one has as much as a gag reflex when a large chunk of Jesus’ body is ripped off with a claw? Each and everyone one of them maintains a sadistically twisted gleeful expression on their faces as every square inch of Jesus’ skin is torn from his body? Not one single Jew has the heart to make an “ewww” face?

If the United States government paraded Osama Bin Laden down the main street of my city looking like that, I would probably vomit from the sight of it alone. Hell, I almost vomited in the movie theater. I’m sure the insane woman with her 12-year-old son that was sitting two rows in front of me would have appreciated that. They could have sent the dry cleaning bill directly to Mel.

Putting all of these things together, the only logical explanation I can come up with is that Mel Gibson really did want me to hate Jews as I walked out of that movie theater, something I didn’t even consider beforehand. He doesn’t even make them human. I’d hate anyone who tortured and beat a man – even if the guy was a raving lunatic, as he was made out to be in this movie – to that extent. For those of you who haven’t seen it, “that extent” is beyond human comprehension. The sheer amount of blood that Jesus loses makes the fucking goof in Kill Bill look like a serious anatomical study. How could you not hate Jews after walking out of that movie, even if you don’t believe in Jesus. Either they brutally tortured and killed the son of God, and made the biggest “oops” in history (sorry Janet), or they did the same thing to some crazy bastard with a brain disease and a big ego. Either way, they don’t seem human. They look like soulless monsters hell-bent on making anyone who slightly disagrees with them pay the ultimate price.

I could even understand if he was saying that was about the normal treatment for all criminals in that era, but I can’t even give him the benefit of that doubt. Look at the contrast between the treatment Jesus received in this film and the condition of the other two criminals hanging on crosses next to him. One, Jesus, has no skin left, and is losing an average of 7 gallons of blood per minute (which if I’m not mistaken would have left him dead after…ohhh…a minute or so) and the other two have a black eye at worst.

Mel Gibson is an absolute lunatic, and as a man who has actually met Jews, conversed with Jews, and on occasion liked a few Jews, I’m terrified that Mel is going to hunt me down and claw my skin off as I sleep (I’d admit publicly that I actually married a Jew, but I’d be afraid that’d put me at the very top of his hit list). The man is a raving lunatic, and each and every person who has seen Passion of the Christ knows it on some level. They know that if they had just walked out of a theater after watching that, and the character’s name was anything other than Jesus, they would march directly to their car, grab a piece of cardboard, a marker, and a stick, and promptly begin protesting this horrifically brutal film that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality.

But of course it is about Jesus, so all logic and reasonable thinking go straight out the window. I walked out of that theater sick to my stomach, and assumed as I reached the lobby that other people must have felt the same way. They didn’t. I laughed at all the reports in the news of people crying, having heart attacks, and the other psychotic reactions people had after viewing this, but I couldn’t believe any rational human being would actually feel that way after watching a movie. A few girls ran directly from the theater to the bathroom so they could break down in tears, a hoard of old men sat in their popcorn covered seats and openly wept, and a couple of roided up looking high school kids in lettermen jackets appeared as though they were going to beat up the first big nosed bastard they came across. I was scared for my wife’s life. My feeling were mixed between a desire to run away and pretend I don’t know her, and to hold my hands up in the sign of a cross to the insane mob, like you would do to an approaching vampire, and scream “She converted! She converted! She’s not REALLY Jewish!”

I wish I hadn’t seen Passion. It’s well made (from a movie making standpoint anyway, you know film angles and all that crap) for what it is, but it’s the vilest thing I’ve ever had the displeasure of laying my eyes upon. If I had ever had a choice between sharing a jail cell with Jeffrey Dahmer or with Mel Gibson, I’d take ole’ Jeff every time. At least I’d know what I was getting with him.


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