Buy a T-Shirt - Become a Better Human Being
by WHO on Jan-2-1999

List Price: $1999.99
Your Price: $15.00
Shipping: FREE! (U.S. Only)

Purchase a “Village Idiot” T-shirt (United States)

Purchase a “Village Idiot” T-shirt (Everywhere else)

Be sure to include your mailing address in the “comments” box. Also include what size t-shirt you want. S, M, L, XL, 2XL are available.

Or, feel free to snail mail a BLANK money order for $15 to:

P.O. Box 1364
Kent, OH 44240

Be sure to state what size shirt you need and where you’d like me to mail it. Make sure your handwriting is LEGIBLE. If I can’t read your handwriting, I will send you the old hair out of my hairbrush. Non refundable too, baby.

Much like a cigarette, a t-shirt will make sure your friends - and anyone else unlucky enough to pass your stinky ass in the street - know how incredibly cool you are. Impress neighbors, relatives, and that dead hooker corpse in your trunk with your spiffy new gear.

Here is what a few people are saying about this wonderful offer:

“This great shirt made my hair grow 14 inches in a week! If I were you, I’d buy twelve of them. Here’s my tongue.

“I command you to buy. Oh, and God told me I never have to shower again.”

“My Village Idiot t-shirt makes me tingle in a dirty place.”

“I’m on morphine!”

“Buy a shirt or I will shoot you with my magical internet pistols!”

“I’m not a vampire. Really.”

“You’re so silly Kelso.”


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