The Perfect Woman
by WHO on Jan-1-1999
  • I am a chick.
  • I just turned 25.
  • I’m married to someone better than you.
  • I’m one of those college kids who changes their major a million times. Right now it’s journalism.
  • I worked full-time as a childcare provider. Why people trusted me with their children, I’ll never know…
  • I used to share an apartment with four guys (NO, I was NOT doing any of them!) who gave me an interesting nickname. We were all sitting around the tube one fine evening watching ‘The Grinch That Stole Christmas’, when someone pointed out that I look like a character on the movie: Little Cindy Lou Who from Whoville. From that day forward, I have been known as Little (my name here) Who from Whoville, or WHO for short. Fascinating story, eh?
  • I have a secret freckle
  • I am a lousy driver. You have all probably cussed me out at some point in your pitiful, little lives.
  • I have a younger brother whom I adore.
  • The rest of my family consists of social rejects and the Dregs of Society. Although she lives less than ten minutes from me, I have not seen my degenerate mother in nine years.
  • I can’t spell worth a damn.
  • I used to work at Taco Bell and I once looked the other way while one of my employees spiked the steak with laxatives.


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