Piece of Shit Car
by WHO on Oct-10-1999

Does everyone remember that song by Adam Sandler? Ode to my Car? Well I used to own that car. My car was the biggest piece of shit in all of Ohio, but it got me from point A to point B, so I wasn’t complaining (Too much).

Well one day on the way to work, (about a block away from my place of employment) the dirty piece of shit breaks down in the center lane at a stoplight. Not willing to put one more red cent into the thing for repairs I said to myself “Fuck it” and proceeded to walk the rest of the way to work. When I got to work, my boss says to me:

“How’d You get here?”

Me: “I drove.”

“Well where’s your car then?”

“In the road.”

“Whaddya mean, ‘it’s in the road’?”

“The thing broke down on me, so I left it.”

“You can’t just leave your car in the middle of the street!”

“Well I didn’t want to be late for work…”

“I don’t care about that! You still can’t leave it!”

“Nah, it’s cool…I don’t want it anymore.” (By now he was getting pretty exasperated)

“(my name), you still have to get it out of the way!!!”

“You expect me to push that thing all by myself?”

“No, of course not…I’ll send Nick and Dan out there to help you.”

So Nick, Dan and I all got to leave work (on the clock) to go push my car out of the street. What really kills me is that when we got there, cars were lined up behind my car for MILES honking and giving the thing the bird. No one was bright enough to realize that the damn thing didn’t contain a driver! I mean, I was 16 years old! I had an excuse for MY stupidity! What the hell was wrong with THOSE people!?!?

Well anyway, we pushed the car into a local parking lot, went back to work, and I never saw the damn thing again.


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