Drunk Before Noon
by WHO on Aug-14-2001

Oh, what a week I’m having!

My computer crashed, my brother and I are not on speaking terms, my phone got disconnected, my semi-serious relationship bit the dust, and this morning as I was on my way to work, I had found that my 1998 Ford Escort just decided it wasn’t going to start today.

Ford can lick my nuts. I’m buying a Honda.

So, I did what any reasonable girl in my predicament would do. I decided to stay home and get really, really drunk. Pretty much the only decent tasting alcohol I possessed was a bottle of rum and some daiquiri mix. So, I made daiquiris. Within a half an hour, I ran out of daiquiri mix. So I started mixing rum with semi-melted Popsicles. (You would be surprised at the recipe ideas one gets when slightly buzzed) Promptly ran out of rum. Went on a mad search through my house for more alcohol. And what did I find? Amaretto and Apple Pucker. Jesus Christ! I’m 22 years old, single, and I OWN A BAR! How is it possible for me NOT to have any decent alcohol in the house?!? And when did I buy all this pussy liquor?

At this point, I started sweating. Was it possible that I would have to resort to *shudder* cheap beer? By God, it was! It’s actually not all that bad if you hold your nose.

Which brings me to now. It’s 10:30a.m on a Tuesday morning and I’m sitting in front of my computer blasted out of my fucking mind. And of course, in my semi-conscious state, I came up with the bright idea of updating my site. Lucky you.

For the first time in my life, I am acting my age. I am being completely irresponsible. I suppose I should be figuring out a way to get my car into the garage to be fixed. After all, I have the next 3 days off and that’s plenty of time to get my shit organized. But, fuck it. Right now, I’m in a ‘I don’t give a fuck about anything’ kind of mood.

Besides, hopefully by noon, I’ll be out cold.


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