So Pretty
by WHO on May-20-2000

A couple of days ago, I went to the mall and witnessed an event with sophistication one step up from child pornography: A child fashion show.

That day, much like the Backstreet Boy’s concert, my eyes were subject to images of little girls dressed up like low class prostitutes. Leather mini skirts, leopard print halter tops, spiked high heels–they went the whole nine yards. Each girl walked the runway enthusiastically swiveling her hips for an audience made up of pedophile’s stroking their cocks under their bags and overweight mothers far past their prime.

It was pathetic.

But on the upside, it’s a great way to teach your kid that her intelligence, work ethic, and personality doesn’t really matter as long as she can get Leroy in the front row to blow a load. It’s good to see that parents have their priorities straight.

Nowadays, parents have high expectations for their children. They have to have long eyelashes and miniature waists. They have to have shiny hair and perfectly straight teeth. They have to wear tight designer jeans and bare flat little mid-drifts. They have to be beautiful.

Parents will go to great lengths to insure that their little angels uphold the visual status quo. A bad genetic make-up is no longer a problem. You can just go to an online store and pick out some pretty eggs.

It gets even worse. After visual perfection is achieved, the standards raise. At the mere age of 4, little girls are so thoroughly warped that they have their occupations already picked out. They don’t want to be doctors, lawyers, or scientists. Oh no! Nothing that easy! They want to be models.

But that’s fine with the parents.

Who wants their child to cure cancer or be president when they can smile vapidly into the camera and take a pretty picture? Who wants a child to study and work hard in school when she can bend seductively over to give her principal full view of her luscious prepubescent ass? Who wants to raise a child to be honest and trustworthy when we can have a murderer who will look stunning in his mug shot?

I do, for one.

As I walked away from the stage, I communicated my thoughts to my friend.

“I would rather have an extremely ugly kid that makes his living off of his superb intelligence than to have a beautiful kid that makes money off of his looks.”

“That’s not true,” she answered, “You want your kid to be cute.”

(At this point, I noticed that an older gentlemen in front of us was slowing down, obviously eavesdropping)

“No I don’t. I want my kid to be kind, creative, and smart.”

“But wouldn’t you be proud of your little girl if she ended up a famous model?”

“No, I’d be disgusted and I’d wonder where I went wrong. I would rather have a smart kid that was a hunchback with a third nipple than have my insipid little brat become a model.”

The man in front of us doubled over laughing and said, You have high hopes for the next generation!”

Damn straight I do.


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