Humility
by WHO on Apr-20-2000

I’m broke. In fact, I’m BEYOND broke. If one more bill collector calls me shouting puny little threats, I’m going to go absolutely insane. I’m that broke.

I decided it was time for me to suck it up and get a second job. I calculated the minimum amount of money that I could work for and put out 20 resumes. No one called. I started to get desperate. So desperate, in fact, that when Taco Bell offered me a management job $3.00/hr ABOVE my self proclaimed minimum wage, I went crawling back to them with my tail between my legs.

Oh, the humiliation!

It is my job to baby sit snotty teenage brats and degrade myself publicly. I’ve been so jaded lately that I can’t even think straight.

Currently, the store is suffering from a staffing problem. Instead of having a crew of 6 people under me (like I should), I only have one other person…a very obese girl called Tabitha. Calling Tabitha obese was being too kind. She’s fat, plain and simple. 300lbs is being generous. Tabitha sweats CRISCO she is so fat. Not that I have anything against fat people, mind you. I just have something against sinfully LAZY fat people. Tabitha seems to be under the impression that too much movement will kill her. In reality, Tabitha not only needs to move, but she needs to JOG. I wish I could pay her to jog around the store for a couple of hours.

Tabitha tries to tell me that fat people usually don’t eat a lot. Bullshit. I have gained weight. I know exactly why. It was because I overate.

“No, no, no!” Tabitha insists, “It’s my metabolism!” She says this to me as she wolfs down 2lbs of nachos and a large diet pepsi.

Christ! Do you people see what I have to put up with?

Friday night we were so understaffed that we had to close the store at midnight. I put a sign of the driveway window stated that “We Are Closed.” Apparently, this sign did not satisfy my potential customers because they insisted on banging on the window until someone walked over and asked them what they needed.

“Are you closed?”

“Yes.”

“Why don’t you tell people that instead of making them wait by the window?”

“That is what the sign is for, sir”

“But you should TELL them.”

“I’m sorry sir, but Taco Bell does not pay me to stand by this window with a cheesy grin on my face so I can slowly explain, in small words so that even the most illiterate of morons can understand, that WE ARE CLOSED.”

“Fuck you, you stupid cunt.”

“Have a nice night.”

This wouldn’t be so bad if it was an isolated incident. Unfortunately, it happened every 5 minutes or so until I left. At one point, some guy even ripped the sign off the window in a rage, got out of his car, and stomped on it. I guess lack of tacos makes him cranky.

I walk out of that store every night feeling physically, spiritually, and verbally beaten. I am so goddamn jaded. Nothing can make one lose hope in society faster than a night behind the counter of a Taco Bell restaurant.

Where is that damn dog when you need him?



MORE THINGS FOR YOU TO DO

Browse the archives - You still have plenty to read. Get cracking.

Join the Forum - Club Hell is the #1 rated (by drunk Club Hell members) place on the entire Internet for discussing serious, funny, or just about any other topic you can think of. It's safe for work, unless you work somewhere where "fuck" can get you fired.