A Touchy Subject
by WHO on Dec-20-1999

There are not many nice things I can say about my mother, but at least she didn’t raise me a racist. In fact, she didn’t raise me at all…T.V did. And it did a damn good job, too. (If I do say so myself) My tender, impressionable little mind gained a large quantity of tolerance and idealism from sitcoms like ‘Full House’, ‘Growing Pains’, and the ‘Cosby Show’. Furthermore I went to a school system were the black kids were just as many as the white kids. No one made any derogatory statements about one’s color. (Unless they were some worthless, stupid, illiterate hick that no one cared about) In fact, by the time I had graduated from high school, I had all but convinced myself that racism didn’t exist and that those damn tree-hugging activists were once again making something out of nothing…

…Then I got to college.

I think I mentioned on another page that I lived with four guys my first year of college. What I didn’t mention was these guys were all flaming racists. They would actually have ‘Bible studies’ were they would all sit around and try to find quotes in the Bible to twist around to justify their hatred. It was repulsive and one of the main reasons I moved out.

So there I was…my sugarcoated view of the world destroyed. I walked the campus in a daze. For the first time, I felt ashamed over something that happened years before my birth. I felt guilty over something I had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with. I wanted to apologize for my ancestors, my color, my place in society and my inability to change the world. I could feel myself changing into a hippy. I wore bell-bottoms, put flowers behind my ears, and starting talking about ‘free love’. Someone suggested that I chain myself to a stairwell in protest and I almost considered. Then I came to my senses.

My flower-power attitude turned into complete apathy. My favorite quote became ‘to each his own’ and while I was always willing to argue my opinions, I wasn’t afraid to agree to disagree. I mean, these people spent their whole lives cultivating a special brand of hatred; I had to be fucking kidding myself if I thought I was going to change their minds. Besides, I was going to be a teacher someday. Maybe I could make an impact of some sort there. I told myself that I personally would never treat another differently because of skin color and convinced myself that (for now) was all I could do. At this point in time, I had not even the slightest inkling of knowledge that I was, and have always been, a VICTIM.

I got on the campus bus one day and sat down next to a black girl. She snorted in disgust, got up and moved from the seat. Her friends, (who were seated behind us) asked, “Why did you change seats?” She announced loudly, to the entire bus, that she would never sit next to a ‘white girl’. Obviously, I was humiliated. I never realized that BLACK PEOPLE ARE JUST AS RACIST, IF NOT MORE RACIST, THAN WHITE PEOPLE.

And this fact, friends and neighbors, is where my little rant begins.

If the above situation would have been reversed and I was the one reveling in my narrow-mindedness, I would not have made it off the bus in one piece. I would have been attacked by a pack of raving lunatic students, foaming at the mouth and wielding knives. As I was in the hospital recovering, the entire student body would have been holding candlelight vigils, protesting Denny’s and praying for my soul. Flowers and donations galore would have been sent to the house of the poor, abused black girl and I would have probably been kicked out of school. As it was, the busload of students tittered briefly and went on about their business. And why is that? BECAUSE IT DOESN’T COUNT AS RACISM UNLESS YOU ARE BLACK. Because of my color, it is ok to humiliate me in public. After all, my ancestors enslaved the Africans for years. I deserve it, don’t I? I don’t think so, but obviously, the rest of society does.

Don’t believe me? Well let me continue then…

Why is it ok to have fraternities and sororities JUST for black students? Is that not racist? If I were to start a sorority just for white students, wouldn’t THAT be racist? Of course it would! MY race wasn’t enslaved a billion years ago, so IT IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE TO TREAT ME UNFAIRLY NOW. An all-black sorority would be applauded for being proud of it’s heritage, while an all-white sorority wouldn’t last a week before it was burnt to the ground. After all, white people are not allowed to be proud of their heritage…we are pigs and have been labeled as such generations after slavery was abolished.

Did you know that white people aren’t entitled to as much financial aid as black people? I am poor, totally self-supporting, an excellent student (3.8 GPA) and I am only entitled to ONE GRANT for $400 a year. (That was not a typo…a measly four hundred dollars a year) A friend of mine (who is black) lives with her extremely well off parents, has a lousy 2.6 GPA and has spent most of her college years getting drunk is entitled to a FREE RIDE. That’s right ladies and gentlemen! She never has to pay a SINGLE DIME to the university for no other reason than she is black. She is totally taking advantage of the HUNDREDS of student grants and scholarships ONLY awarded to young black students. And why shouldn’t she? Her great, great, great grandmother MIGHT have been a slave. SHE DESERVES IT! I, on the other hand, have to bust my ass working multiple jobs and selling my body just to get my bachelors!

Why is it perfectly acceptable to hire someone for no other reason but they are a minority, but it IS NOT acceptable to hire someone who might be more qualified, but a majority?

Why is it ok to have a tee-shirt saying ‘it’s a black thing, you wouldn’t understand’, but it is not ok to have an identical tee-shirt saying ‘it’s a white thing’?

Why is racism against Caucasians considered a norm?

I agree that slavery was horrible. I cringe at the thought that someone with my blood running in his veins MIGHT have something to do with it. But I DON’T think that I should be punished and ridiculed for something I personally had nothing to do with! I DON’T believe that I should be passed over for jobs, scholarships, and common courtesy just because I was born light-skinned. I DON’T believe it is ok for there to be ANY form of segregation or separation among Americans…no matter WHOSE favor it works in. I DON’T BELIEVE that two wrongs make a right. I NEVER want to be treated like a ‘white girl’; I wanted to be treated as a human being. In exchange, I will you treat you as such…no matter what your color.

Doesn’t that seem fair to you?


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